Anonymous asked: Dear ex, Dear guy I hate, Dear girl I like, Dear ex bestfriend, Dear bestfriend, Dear mom, Dear dad, Dear santa... DO IT

hmmm. i take it i’m supposed to finish these?? this could get weird and fun lol

Dear ex,

i love you today as much as the day i met you. you were the most fun person i’ve ever met and i’m so happy i got to spend so many years of my life with you by my side. with that being said, you are also total liar and the shittiest person i’ve ever met. almost nothing you ever told me was reality. the way things ended between us was soooooo awful and crushed almost any chance i had at loving anyone else. everything i ever said or did to you came from my heart. good or bad. you really fucked me up.

Dear guy I hate,

Michael Populus, you are a gay bitch and possibly the most fake person on earth. you only have friends because, lets face it… who wouldn’t want a photographer with legit equipment as a friend. the fact that you tried to sue me was a complete joke. i hope you die sucking a penis you red headed bitch.

Dear girl I like,

i barely know you at all but its been quite a while since i met anyone in real life who i could actually see myself being around for more than an hour without hating them instantly. you surprised me completely. you are funny, beautiful, talented, and you have great morals. aaaand unfortunately you have a boyfriend. that being the story of my life, i will look past it and hope we can have a great friendship. you are a great girl and i think the world of you :)

Dear ex bestfriend,

you are the absolute worst bestfriend anyone would ever ask for. you are a leech, a thief, a liar, and most of all… you are hilarious. which is why it always feels right when we hangout. if Adolf Hitler had been hilarious, it would be enough for me to be best buds with him. i just like really shitty people. i had so much fun breaking rules and lying to peoples faces for no reason and getting free shit. it makes me feel alive. so while we may not hangout much anymore, i still consider you my brother. although we share no blood, we’ve shared the same girls… and that’s way cooler.

Dear bestfriend,

its been a long time since i’ve actually had a “friend” at all. most people in my life only want things from me. you never asked for anything and you’re always down to help me when i need it. you are a good dude with some serious bottled up weird crazy issues that i never wanna know about. you always want the best and i respect that. i haven’t known you long and you’ve already proven yourself as my bff. i know i mess with you alot but i love you. now break up with your girl & lets Bro-Bone!!!

Dear mom,

there is too much to say about you. good, bad, depressing, unusual… too much to list. i hope you’re doing okay in prison. i miss you though. sorry you missed thanksgiving. i love you.

Dear dad,

man… i love you! you taught me so much growing up. you never pushed me to do anything i didn’t wanna do. you always had faith that i could do anything i want. and now i can actually do anything i want. i look up to you and respect you more than i can explain. i hope i have kids soon so they can meet the people responsible for making me who i am today. you and mom are crazy as shit but i respect you guys for staying together through everything you’ve been through. good luck at your new house :D

Dear santa,

you are a bastard and you have NEVER given me a single present that i want since my first christmas. eat my butt you white bearded jerk.